


Burning Up a Sun

by Lena86



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lena86/pseuds/Lena86
Summary: The Tenth Doctor, at The End of Time.Reposted from FFN
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. The End of Time

He threw his coat over the support strut, not looking to see if it made it. He'd probably never wear it again.

As he moved around the console room, he made sure to look - _r_ _eally_ look - for the first time in a long time, as he started the dematerialisation sequence. He'd seen Rose. That hurt, almost as much as the radiation that was slowly killing him. Not slowly. Very quickly now.

Rose. What he most wanted to do now was go and find her room. Curl up on her bed like he hadn't either time he'd left her in Bad Wolf Bay. He knew the TARDIS had kept her room as she left it. Every now and then he'd found himself confronted by her door, but he'd never gone in.

But he couldn't. Not now. Not ever probably. He could feel the radiation building and behind it, the regeneration energy burned. Too hot. Was it this hot last time?

'I don't wanna go.' Because he would be gone, this time. Utterly changed. No Rose to stabilise him, to remind him how much he loved her every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every… well… always. But that was a good thing, wasn't it? No pain at her absence. No ridiculous jealousy of himself- his human self - standing there in Bad Wolf Bay kissing her. Of course, he might lose his hair – and it was _great_ hair – but at least the pain would stop. The everyday, gnawing pain that ate away at him minute by minute.

He screamed as the regeneration energy ripped through him, suddenly aware of nothing around him. Only the pain and the brilliance.

It was gone. He staggered forward, dropping to the deck. Funny, his hands looked the same. And he still hurt. He closed his eyes, needing a moment in his head before he faded and was replaced. Hands. Not his, not those in front of him, someone else's, pulling him around so he was laying on the deck, his head on something soft.

'You know, you don't half make a mess.'

He kept his eyes shut and sighed. 'Madness does tend to make one neglect the housework.' He felt the body he was resting against shake with silent laughter. 'Then you start to hallucinate and all hell breaks loose.'

'You're not hallucinating. Open your eyes, Doctor.'

Reluctantly, he complied. The first thing he saw was the TARDIS, frozen in the process of its own destruction. He'd been ripping the TARDIS apart in the middle of the vortex. Good move, that. Smart. Unwillingly he allowed his gaze to focus on the person holding him, knowing what his – judging by the evidence, quite cracked – mind was about to show him.

He was lying on the floor, in the TARDIS, with his head in Rose Tyler's lap.

'Hello,' she said, smiling through the tears that were streaking down her face. In the reflected light of the TARDIS exploding, her tears looked golden.

'Hello,' he replied, closing his eyes again.

'So… I was sleeping, yeah? And suddenly I wake up with this memory of this bloke talking to me outside our block of flats…'

'January 1st, 2005,' he murmured.

'He said I was gonna have a great year…' she said. He could feel wetness on his forehead and what was presumably her sleeve as she wiped it away. 'Sorry,' she murmured.

'So there's suddenly this full-blown memory, right? Of a strange man who'd had a bit too much to drink. Except he wasn't strange, not really… was he, Doctor?'

'He was me.'

'He was you,' she confirms. 'And I _knew_ ,' she said, her voice a whisper, 'I knew. So I had to come, even though you left me behind. Again.'

'You know – it's bad form for an hallucination to pick on the hallucinatee.'

'What happened to Donna? Once you were back on the TARDIS?'

As always, his treacherous brain moved too quickly. Taking the sketchy information he'd been given and reaching the horrible conclusion. 'Ohhh… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

'Yeah,' she said dryly. He could feel her pulling away, mentally, becoming harder. 'He said that too. As he died. Couldn't hold on to it all, see. Imagine trying to contain every memory, every thought, every action from almost a thousand years of life in a body with a little human braun and only one heart. Somethin' had to give.'

'But he could have forgotten, could have-' he broke off as she manoeuvred him into a sitting position and looked at him, a harsh light in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. Never directed at him, in any case.

She got to her feet and walked over to the console; careful to dodge a piece of it that was midway through exploding. Then she turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest and speaking in a soft voice, as though genuinely curious. 'Could you? Everything you've seen and done, everywhere you've been, everything you've felt - could you forget all of that?'

He looked away, desperate not to see that look in her eyes, even if she was just a hallucination.

'Thought not. Stand up.'

As though utterly controlled by her voice, he pulled himself to his feet, wincing at the pain that rolled through him in waves. Her eyes swept over him, starting at his hair, then moving down his body, then back up to his eyes. Her expression was still cold. 'Doctor,' she said softly, 'what have you done?'

'You're really here,' he replied, unable to meet her gaze, 'aren't you?'

'I had to come. I had to offer you this, even though you don't-' she broke off, then continued, 'I guess I owe you somethin' for all this.' She swept an arm out around her.

'Rose,' he said softly, finally allowing himself to say her name out loud. Even to his own ears it sounded like a plea for absolution. Her eyes widened slightly at that, apparently she hadn't missed the fact that he'd not called her by name. He took a breath, 'I'm regenerating,' he said bluntly, 'And this time there's no way to stop it. Nothing we can do.'

'Your handy spare hand,' she murmured. She met his eyes again, 'You look so tired.' He looked down at his feet, feeling another wave of pain cresting in his stomach. 'When did you stop looking around you, Doctor?' she asked, and he could hear the tears in her voice. 'We're frozen in time and the Time Lord with the vastly superior intellect and the biggest gob in the universe hasn't said anything. Probably 'cos you thought it was a hallucination, but still…'

All too late, the Doctor suddenly realised that the pace by which he measured his life, his position, his very existence, had gone. There was no time. He felt as though his breath had been knocked out of him. 'No… that's not right. You can't… You can't possibly…'

'I came here to offer you a choice,' she said and her voice sounded… doubled, somehow, as though two people were speaking at once, 'I wasn't even sure up until just now that I had anything to offer you, but I've got this. I can make this stop.' She whispered. He hadn't noticed until right then that she'd been walking towards him, but now she was standing just inches away from him and he couldn't look away. He saw her then, his Rose, peeking out at him from behind the Bad Wolf, the monstrous entity that could cross dimensions and stop time. Briefly he wondered what she was seeing, right now, when she looked at him. 'You were so much better than this, before. So much more. I've seen what you've done. How much you've hurt. The mistakes you've been making…'

'Stop it,' he breathed, his eyes falling closed.

He felt her tuck her fingers under his chin and lift it slightly, gently indicating that he should be looking at her. So he did. He felt like he could drown in her, right then. Standing there and just so… Rose. All pink and yellow. Looking at him like she's not examining his soul anymore, like she already knows everything and it doesn't matter. The way she always used to look at him.

'You can't stop this,' he said.

She snorted her amusement at that and he couldn't help but feel warmth for her humanity in the face of everything that was happening. 'I can stop time, Doctor. I can cross dimensions. I've come looking for you and found you twice and you never even thought about it.' He stared at her blankly, and wished he could blame the pain he was in for his apparent denseness. 'I've stopped time in the TARDIS for how long now?' she asked him.

His brain raced to calculate the last time he'd felt time passing and couldn't. He resorted to counting his heart rate backwards, then realised that was unreliable, this close to a regeneration. So he counted hers instead. Her heartbeat which hadn't picked up the whole time she'd been here. 'Seven minutes, forty three seconds.'

She nodded. 'So what do you want?' she asked, 'Do you want this,' she waved a hand around the console room to illustrate her point, 'or do you want to stop it?'

'Just stop it?' He asked, because regardless of how he felt about changing he didn't think he could survive in this world without time much longer. He thought this is what it must feel like to be dead.

'Don't be thick,' she said, smiling as though she'd read his mind.

'You can't save me, Rose,' he said.

'I can if you want. What _do_ you want, Doctor?'

'I don't wanna go,' he whispered, and like so many others the words had left his mouth before he could stop them.

She stepped closer then, something he hadn't imagined possible, really, considering how close she was already standing. She tilted her head back so that she was looking directly up at him and for the tiny moment before her lips pressed against his he saw her eyes were ghosted with golden light.

When he came back to himself he was slumped against the support strut behind him and she had fallen against him, barely conscious. Her heart rate had picked up now, quite alarmingly. And he could feel no pain. He caught her in his arms and carried her to the jump seat.

As he strapped her in she murmured something at the edge of hearing and he had to lean closer to catch it. She repeated herself. 'Get ready.' Then she lost consciousness and the console room became his own personal hell. They were going to crash.


	2. The Raggedy Wolf

H e managed to force the TARDIS into a rematerialisation above some kind of forest, which he then crashed into – causing mild damage to several trees on the way down. He remembered his fifth incarnation being astounded at how well he flew the TARDIS -  _ I've never met anyone else who could fly the TARDIS like that _ – and his own glib response  _ Sorry mate, you still haven't. _

Truth be told he was better than he'd ever been before with the TARDIS, more in tune with it. Landings notwithstanding.

The TARDIS was badly damaged, of course. He could fix that. He would be himself when he fixed that. He suddenly realised he was laughing almost hysterically, sheer relief at still being himself taking over.

Then he caught sight of Rose, still strapped into the jump seat. He moved to her side, unbuckling the straps and lifting her out of the seat. He stood still for a moment, holding her tightly against him, his eyes closed. Then he left the console room.

When he reached her room the door was open, as though she'd only just left. He pushed the door with his foot – a proper door, he remembered for what felt like the first time in a long time; the TARDIS had given her what seemed to be an honest to god wooden door – and stepped inside, hearing the door close quietly behind him.

He made his way across the room and stood at the edge of her bed. Suddenly finding he didn't want to let her go, he laid her down in the middle of the bed and lay down beside her, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look at her. If he hadn't known better he would have said she was just sleeping. He reached into this pocket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver, using it to scan first her head, then her heart. It was racing, fluttering like a bird's in her chest. 

Gently, he opened one of her eyes and examined it. Her eyes were almost black, her pupils were so large. Still, no sign of the golden light that had infused them previously. He didn't allow himself to wonder if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Her body was radiating heat. He slid his hand into hers and felt her shiver slightly at his cooler body temperature.

_Burning up a sun to say goodbye_ , he thought suddenly, the memory seeming to come from a very long time ago. _Was that what you were doing, Rose? Burning yourself up to save me? To say goodbye to me?_

He curled his arm underneath his head and lay there, looking at her. He had literally a tonne of medical gadgets in the infirmary, but his feet had led him here. He knew there was nothing he could do; he was less than useless to her now. Should get on with fixing the TARDIS, really.

He was desperately trying not to acknowledge the feeling that if he left her, she would disappear entirely.

*

Rose opened her eyes, staring into the darkness above her. For the first time in a long time she didn't feel the panic she usually felt waking up. Around her she could hear the sounds she'd always thought of as the TARDIS breathing, the gentle in and out hum the ship made when not in motion. The sound immediately told her where she was, that she was safe.

Basking in the feeling of utter security the realisation that someone was here with her crept up on her slowly. She turned her head, grimacing at the slight pain in the back of her neck from sleeping in a strange position. The Doctor appeared to be asleep next to her – his superior biology clearly having failed him. His head was on his arm; the fingertips of his other hand were just barely resting against her forearm.

She'd never seen him asleep before. Unconscious, yes, but not asleep. It worried her. Maybe something had gone wrong? Lacking a stethoscope – and the desire to leave the bed to fetch one – she turned slightly, noting that as her arm moved away, his fingers followed it. Now she was lying on her side, facing him. She reached out tentatively and rested her hand against his chest, feeling the beat of first one heart, then the other. Both seemed to be running at a normal resting pace.

Satisfied that he at least seemed all right, she studied his face, noting the differences there. He looked older, which she knew was impossible, and even in sleep his face hadn't relaxed.

Abruptly, she remembered what Harriet Jones had said on Christmas Day, just after her defeated the Sycorax.  _ Absolutely the same man _ . At the time, she'd agreed, despite the unusual feelings he'd stirred in her when he stood in front of her and fixed her with the most intense expression she'd ever seen.  _ Be honest. How do I look? _

She realised now that the former prime minister had been wrong. Oh, he was definitely still the Doctor - cleverest brain and largest ego to roam the universe – but he was fundamentally different from the man she'd first known. Both lighter and darker, so much darker, than his previous incarnation.

For a few moments in the console room, the Bad Wolf had seen everything he'd done. All those steps down the path of damnation that had exhausted him, finally.

An image came to her mind, a crystal clear image of the Doctor sitting in a café somewhere with Donna's granddad. Her Doctor. Crying. Looking absolutely miserable and far too vulnerable.

_ Too human _ . The words came from nowhere but she understood their meaning. It was one of the things it had taken her so long to get used to when he regenerated. He was so human and yet at the same time so much more than human, seeming to feel everything so much more intensely than he had done previously. Anger, fear, joy, sadness, love. Every emotion he had was so much more immediate, so much closer to the surface and then amplified by the fact that he wasn't human.

In the beginning he had been so much more human than when they first met, but now – she saw more of the storm in him than ever. She'd had a glimpse of it, when he'd left her in Bad Wolf Bay with his human metacrisis clone. He'd been distant, holding himself away from the situation as though it wasn't important.

His human counterpart had spoken about it as he lay dying. She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that suddenly marred her vision.

'You have to understand!' He hissed, his body arching off the ground.

'I have to help you!' she'd responded, aware that her mother was calling an ambulance somewhere behind her.

'You can't. You know you can't. But I can help you if you just listen to me… this was a mistake, you have to understand that, a mistake. I – we – he is afraid. Terrified and he doesn't know what to do. Something is broken and he doesn't know how to fix it.'

'But you're-' she began.

'Not me! Him. He's broken. I'm not even meant to exist.' His eyes had closed then, and she'd almost screamed his name. They blinked open again, but she could see he was going to lose consciousness again very quickly. 'Rose,' he said softly. She met his eyes, refusing to blink in case he was gone before she could look at him again. 'I'm so sorry. I love you. So much.'

'I know,' she said.

He looked exasperated. 'Don't you see – I'm him, he is me. I can't feel anything he doesn't.' Suddenly he reached out and grabbed her face, pulling her closer. 'He needs you.' His eyes fell closed again, his lashes dark against the pallor of his cheeks.

The Doctor's own words, spoken only hours before, echoed in her head then: ' _ That's very me _ .'

'He's gone! I can't lose you too!' She sobbed.

'You found me before.' He breathed, his breath hitching. He was silent for several moments, then his eyes snapped open, full of fear and pain and behind that, something else. 'Rose Tyler-'

*

The Doctor awoke to the unfamiliar realisation that he'd been asleep. Odd that. He didn't actually  _ need _ sleep, of course, although he'd found that his present incarnation enjoyed the occasional nap. However, he'd had absolutely no intention of sleeping and yet, here he was, waking up, which rather indicated that sleep had been taking place.

He felt a shiver run through his body. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Rose! Rose was no longer lying beside him on the bed. Panicking, he sat bolt upright, swinging his legs around to bring them into contact with the ground.

'Oi!'

Just in time he heard the shout and narrowly managed to avoid kicking Rose in the head. Unfortunately the abrupt change in position he had to make deposited the both on the floor of her room.

After several moments' silence, she said, 'You kept my room then?'

'The TARDIS did,' he responded, before he could think of how that would sound. Realising it was exactly honest while not being true, he added, 'for me.'

She looked around at the décor and said simply, 'Don't think it's your colour, really.'

The Doctor followed her gaze and took in the purple walls. 'No! I  meant-'

'I know what you meant.'

He looked back at her sharply and realised she was smiling at him, her eyes glinting mischievously. He narrowed his eyes at her. 'So…'

'So?'

'I think you'd better tell me what happened.’


	3. Classification

Rose blinked at him. 'Not now.' He cocked his head inquisitively. Ignoring the implied question, she said, 'You all right?'

He met her eyes briefly before looking away. 'I'm always all right.'

'You were regenerating.'

'And you stopped it,' he said, his gaze returning to study her face. 'How did you do that?'

'Where are we?' she asked, standing and dusting herself off.

'Rose,' he said sternly.

'Are we on a planet?'

'Don't know,' he said, pulling himself up, 'we crashed.'

'Shouldn't you have a look?' She prompted. 'At the TARDIS?'

'What?' he said, as though he'd been deep in thought. 'Oh. Yes. Right. I'll just…' After a long moment of staring at her, searching her face for some clue as to what she was feeling, he turned on his heel and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Rose was left alone in her bedroom. She wasn't quite sure why she'd – very gently – thrown him out. She just suddenly wanted him away. Maybe so I don't have to watch him work out how he's going to ditch me this time. She crossed the room and rested her hand against the door, curling her other arm around herself, her eyes falling closed. Behind her, the TARDIS dimmed the lights of the room and started running her shower.

The Doctor closed the door behind him quietly, but felt unable to make his feet take him to the console room. He turned, preparing to go back into the room, the need to keep her in his sight overriding his wounded pride at being thrown out. Luckily, his survival instinct kicked in and he stopped himself – his hand coming to rest against the door.

*

Rose turned under the spray of the shower, letting the perfect heat warm her throughout. She rested her hands against the wall of the shower cubicle and allowed the water to pound straight down onto the back of her neck. She watched the water falling all around her.

_ 'I warned you. You did this.' _

Rose gasped as she felt fury infuse her limbs. There was water everywhere, mingling freely with the fire. The spider creature – the Racnoss – screamed. At the edge of hearing, Donna Noble shouted, 'Doctor! You can stop now!' He did not move. Frozen in the midst of the fire and water, staring at the Racnoss, feeling nothing but the cold fury.

Rose gasped as the vision released her, dropping her to the floor of the shower. She sat there for several moments, trying to make sense of what she'd seen. Her mind felt hot.

Above her, the shower shut off. She expected the cold air to hit her, then remembered where she was. The TARDIS gently filled the room with warm air. She pulled herself to her feet and reached for her clothes, pulling them on over damp skin.

Rose opened the door to her room. She'd somehow expected him to still be out there. When he wasn't she mentally scolded herself for being ridiculous. The TARDIS needed repairing – he wasn't exactly going to be hanging out in the corridor outside her room, was he?

She made her way to the console room. Predictably he had one of the floor panels up and was down under the console, keeping up a constant stream of murmured babble.

Silently, she crept into the console room and climbed into the jump seat, closing her eyes and simply enjoying the feel of the TARDIS surrounding her.

Some time later, could have been seconds or minutes, Rose was never sure, the Doctor hauled himself out of the space beneath the console. He failed to notice her and stood, pressing buttons and flicking various switches. He turned slightly to look at the screen and caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye. He jumped.

'Hello,' he said, recovering.

'Hello,' she responded, offering him a half-hearted smile. 'You worked out where we are then?'

'Umm… no, actually,' he said, rubbing the back of his neck. 'Had to…' he gestured at the still-wrecked console room.

The regarded one another in an awkward silence for a moment. Suddenly, Rose stood, just as the Doctor reached out to her. His fingers brushed against her arm and Rose gasped as she felt manic fury burn in her mind and her chest.

_ 'It's taken me all these years to realise the laws of time are mine!  _ **_And they will obey_ ** **me** !' The words screamed through her mind, hurting. Hurting so very much.

Rose staggered away from him. He was staring at her, his mouth open and his eyes wide. 'That was-'

'You!' she said, staring back up at him.

'Rose-' he said quietly.

'I need some air,' she muttered, heading for the doors, careful to walk around the other side of the console.

'You don't know what's out there,' he reminded her, turning to watch her.

She ignored him and opened the TARDIS door, slipping into the darkness of the forest outside.

He stared after her for a moment, then followed her, not bothering to pick up his coat on the way out.

The TARDIS had crashed at the edge of a cliff, the forest was spread out behind them. Rose was standing at the edge, looking out over the water below. The quiet sound of the waves was not unlike the sound of the TARDIS, he mused, same rhythm.

As he moved to step towards her, he heard something else. Whipping his head to the side he saw creatures start emerging from the forest. Creatures he didn't recognise. Odd. They looked vaguely human, except they were very pale, almost translucent, and appeared to have three eyes.

'Rose!' he said sharply. She turned, but before she could get back to him two of the creatures were holding her arms, keeping her in place.

'Doctor!' she called. He turned to see two creatures looming beside him, too. He smiled up at them, 'Hello!'

'You are alien. You will be classified.' The creature said. Another appeared, walking towards the Doctor with something that looked like a gun in its hand.

'Classified?' The Doctor asked, 'you want to classify me?'

He heard Rose mutter, 'Good luck,' and turned a stern glare on her. 'Oi, you. Less of that.'

The creature with the object raised it and aimed it at his head. When it depressed the trigger the Doctor felt a cool breeze wash over him. He wasn't panicked, they'd never be able to-

'Place of origin: Gallifrey,' the leader snapped, 'Species: Time Lord.'

The Doctor's mouth dropped open in surprise. 'What?' he demanded.

But the creature had already turned to face Rose, raising the instrument to her face. 'Doctor…?' Rose said, fear in her eyes.

'Planet of origin: Earth,' the leader said in the same matter of fact tone, 'Species:…' He frowned and shook the device. Then he aimed it at her face again. 'Species… unknown.'


	4. Species: Unknown

After what felt like a century of silence, the Doctor and Rose spoke simultaneously: 'What?'

'State your species,' the leader said, shifting his grip on the device slightly.

'Human,' Rose said, panic in her voice, 'I'm human.'

'You are not,' the leader said, 'State your species!'

'She's human,' the Doctor snapped, 'born on Earth in the twentieth century. I should know.'

Rose looked up at the Doctor, her eyes terrified. He was utterly still, barely seeming to breathe. 'Doctor?'

'That which cannot be classified is declared dangerous and must be destroyed.' The leader said, tilting his head to one side.

'What? Why? Whose stupid idea was that?' the Doctor demanded. He could feel his mind running like quicksilver. Human. Rose was  _ so _ human. But she'd crossed the Void, hadn't she? Unshielded and alone she'd crossed the Void and survived. And she'd stopped time in the TARDIS as easily as if she was pausing a DVD. And she'd saved him…

'Autopsy will determine difference and allow classification.' The leader moved towards Rose, holding up the classification device again. Holding it differently this time, more like a weapon.

'I wouldn't do that, if I were you,' the Doctor said darkly.

The creatures holding him pulled a little too hard at his arms, making him loose his footing and their leader turned around, snarling. 'Do not damage him! He is an endangered species and must be preserved!' Then he turned back to Rose.

'Really,' the Doctor said in the same stern tone, 'I wouldn't.'

'Endangered species are not required to speak, child of Gallifrey.'

Rose, watching the Doctor closely, saw the tiny sliver of pain in his eyes at the mention of Gallifrey. Always there. Always hurting. Nevertheless, the Doctor continued. 'Oh but I have to,' he said. ''Cos I'm an endangered species, right?' He nodded towards Rose. 'She's my mate.'

It took Rose a moment to work out what he meant, then - to her absolute horror - she blushed.

'Your mate?' the leader said, glancing at the Doctor over his shoulder.

'Yep,' the Doctor grinned. ''S'why you can't tell her species… only part human now, poor thing. It's my superior Gallifreyan physiology. Overwrites her primitive human DNA.'

'Oi!' Rose said indignantly.

'The veracity of your statements will be determined at autopsy.' The leader said.

'Really?' the Doctor asked, running a hand though his hair. Rose wondered when he'd gotten his arm free and apparently so did his captors as they hastily grabbed his sleeve again. 'Well, I s'pose if you're dead set on an autopsy… I should at least get to say goodbye. Last of the Time Lords and his girlfriend and all that?' Despite his guards he started forward. One of the guards took exception to his wandering captive and pulled the Doctor back so sharply that he was pulled to the ground.

Before the Doctor could get up the leader had turned, training the device that was looking more and more like a weapon on him.

'I thought I was an endangered species?' the Doctor said indignantly.

'You do not necessarily have to be whole to be worth our while,' the leader growled menacingly. 'Or in your present form. We know about Time Lords here. And we know about the last of the Time Lords, Doctor.'

'Heard of me, then?' the Doctor asked, pleased.

'Indeed. We know what they say about you. Murderer. Destroyer of worlds. Killer of your own kind.'

But the Doctor was looking past him, his eyes fixed on Rose. 'Take your hands off her,' he said, his voice low.

The Doctor threw the TARDIS into the vortex, a tiny part of his mind worrying he hadn't fixed enough to keep them there. The rest of his mind was devoted to the scene they'd just left. He shook his head to clear it – plenty of time to consider that later. Then he leaned against the console and stared at her, his expression hard.

'I didn't kill them, they were only stunned,' Rose –not Rose – said, her voice eerily doubled.

'Get out of her,' he spat.

Golden eyes calmly returned his glare. 'I am her. To destroy me would be to destroy her. Us. Each thing we did – crossing the void, stopping time, halting your regeneration – these things bound us, the Wolf to the Rose. Inseparable. But its more than that –'

'I'm warning you,' he growled.

'I chose this, Doctor,' she said, 'when I chose you.'

'You knew this would happen! You're sentient, part of the TARDIS. You knew! You should have left her.'

' _ I am her _ . You've said it yourself. A Time Lord in control of the vortex would even now be terrorising the universe. Not this girl you chose. So human. I looked into the TARDIS and the TARDIS looked into me. I won't burn because I can't. From the moment Rose set foot on this TARDIS, from the moment she was born – this was intended for her. A fact. Think about it, Doctor. Of all the things we could have done, we saved you. Twice. I saw you, throughout time and over distance we saw you. We felt your pain and we felt your fury from the parallel world you deserted me on and we saved you. Because you couldn't save yourself. Everything we have done, I did for you. To keep you safe.'

He stared at her, his eyes searching her face, his brain taking note of the fact that she couldn't quite seem to work out whether she should be sticking to a singular first person pronoun or not.

'The larger part is human,' she continued, her voice adopting a softer tone, 'the rest is controlled, unless Rose chooses otherwise. When there is too much strain, too much for the human in me to bear, the wolf runs.' The golden glare met his eyes again, a warning note in her gaze this time. 'But I will protect myself. Even from you if necessary, my Doctor. You have another choice to make.'

The glow faded and Rose's eyes returned to their normal colour. She sagged slightly, as though the glow had been holding her body taut.

'Rose-' the Doctor said, relieved. He stepped towards her, one hand reaching out, but her glare froze him in place.

'Take me home,' Rose said quietly.

The Doctor stared at her a moment. 'Oh… Really? Right. Okay then.' He turned and began to fiddle with the console, setting their destination.

When the TARDIS landed, Rose stood still, watching him carefully. She gave him an enquiring glance and inclined her head slightly in the direction of the doors.

'There you go. Earth, mid 2010,' he said. He cleared his throat and looked back at the console, fiddling with the switches.

'You could have come and got me,' she said levelly.

'I couldn't,' he said flatly, 'I tried.'

'You could have. You coulda come and got me any time. But you didn't. I heard what you said, about the laws of time and that. You could have,' she said again, 'but you didn't.'

He turned, gazing into her eyes intently, trying to make her understand. 'No,' he said, 'I was wrong. The laws are there for a reason, several, actually. Several very good reasons. I know that. Can't forget that, even if I want to. So I couldn't.'

'You're a Time Lord.'

'Exactly. It's a responsibility. I can't just rip two universes apart because I-'

'Because you what, Doctor?'

He turned back to the console, almost growling in irritation.

'I did,' she said, her voice almost a whisper. 'Didn't even think about it.'

'That's different-' he began.

'What? 'Cos I don't know any better? 'Cos I'm just a human?' she demanded.

The words were out before he could stop them. 'I don't know what you are!'


	5. Home

Rose stared at his back for a moment, and then started for the door. She yanked it open, letting in a gust of cold air, and was greeted by the sight of the Powell estate in the middle of the night. As she moved to walk out, the Doctor reached past her and pushed the door closed. Rose stared at his hand where it rested on the door. She hadn't even heard him move, so loud was the sound of rushing blood in her ears.

'Don't,' he said quietly, so close behind her that she could feel the word on the back of her neck.

'You keep tryin' to get rid of me,' she said, feeling angry, frustrated tears burn her eyes and trail down her face. 'Think its time I took the hint.'

'I've asked you to come with me four times now, Rose Tyler,' he reminded her. His voice was hoarse.

'Any why this time?' she demanded, 'Want to study me, Doctor?' She felt him flinch slightly but he didn't speak. 'Why, Doctor?' she asked, cursing the break she heard in her voice.

'Because I need you here. I want you,' he retracted his hand from the door and turned her gently by the shoulders until she was facing him. 'Here,' he said, and Rose wasn't sure if he was finishing his sentence or giving an instruction. He was completely still, she realised. She'd always thought it impossible, that his need to be constantly moving was somehow related to his hyperactive brain. She looked up at his face, met his gaze and had to suppress a gasp. He was terrified.

'Doctor-' she began. For the moment her anger was forgotten and she only wanted to reach for him, but found herself prohibited by his closeness.

They stood like that for several long seconds, their gazes locked. Then, apparently satisfied she wasn't going to bolt, the Doctor stepped back slightly, allowing her to meet his eyes without straining her neck. 'What I said,' he murmured, 'it wasn't… I didn't…' he sighed and ran a hand though his already quite dishevelled hair. He tried again, 'Rose, you've done impossible things. Dangerous things.  _ Brilliant _ things. You have a piece of the vortex twisted around your mind… your  _ soul _ . And you shouldn't be able to live with that, Rose, you really shouldn't. No one can. Not even the Time Lords. You're an anomaly. A-'

'Freak?' she offered.

'No!' he said hurriedly. Then, 'Well, yes. But,' he said, holding up a finger, 'if I ever speak to you like that again you have my permission to slap me one.'

She gave him a watery smile. 'You speak to everyone like that all the time, remember?'

He smiled back, 'Of course. Rude.'

'And not ginger.' She smiled, then a puzzled look crossed her features. 'You said it was mid 2010, right?' she asked, throwing him. His disorientation must have showed on his face because she added, 'like July?'

'Yeah,' he said slowly, not seeing where this was going.

'So what's with all the snow?'

His eyes widened slightly and he turned, rushing back to the console and swinging the screen around with one hand and grabbing his glasses out of his pocket with the other. 'Um…' he said, sliding them on and staring at the screen. Then he bolted back to the door, setting Rose aside gently, and opened it, looking out at their snow-covered surroundings. He bent down and picked up some of the snow.

'Don't taste it,' she warned.

He gave her a look that was somewhere between withering and amused and dropped the snow. 'My fault,' he said, turning back to face her. 'Right place, wrong time. Wasn't paying attention when I set the course. Sent us back to the last place and time the TARDIS landed in.'

'First of January, 2005,' Rose said quietly.

He nodded, returning to the console. 'Just after I left, actually. The TARDIS knew we were here before, didn't fancy meeting an earlier version of herself.' He paused, then added, 'Again.'

'This was the last place you went before you…' Rose trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence. He hadn't actually died, after all, and 'before you nearly died' seemed to be downplaying things a bit. Besides, she wasn't sure if they could talk about that yet, or if it would just raise questions about her presence all over again.

He looked down, seemingly unable to meet her gaze. When he spoke, however, his tone was offhand, as though he was  _ really _ interested in the switch he was fiddling with on the console. 'Yep. Did some other stuff first, though. Went to Donna's wedding, helped Martha and Mickey out a bit, taught Sarah Jane's son the green cross code. Oh and helped Jack hook up with a bloke called Alonso.'

'Alonso?' Rose asked, smiling, 'must have made your day.' A thought occurred to her. 'Hang on a minute. Did you tell them what was happening to you?'

He didn't answer, just moved around the console slightly so the rotor was hiding his face from view. Undeterred, Rose followed him. 'You didn't, did you? Just dropped in and disappeared again. Bet they know though. They all think you're dead.'

'Regenerated,' he corrected.

'Whatever,' she said dismissively, 'you were saying goodbye and they knew. They think you're gone. A different man.' She stood in front of him. 'You were saying goodbye, and you came here last.'

'Yeah, well…' he trailed off, clearly uncomfortable under her scrutiny. 'So… where to?'

'What?' she asked, shaking herself out of thoughts of Jack and Martha and all the rest, out there, somewhere - some _ when _ – grieving for him while he stood here, alive. The same man. With her. Didn't seem fair. 'You should go and see them. Tell them you're ok.'

'Am I?' he asked. Her head snapped up at his tone. He sounded exhausted. 'Rose, I don't know what you did. I can't even begin to imagine what the vortex has done to you. Well… I  _ can _ . I have a very good imagination. I should examine both of us…'

'You should go and tell the people who love you that you're still here,' she said sternly. 'When I woke up, back in the other world, and I knew what was happening to you… it hurt so much it was like I was being dragged here by the pain.' She paused, remembering. 'I don't want them to hurt like that and neither do you. So fix it.'

He was staring at her, she realised. Fixing her with such an intense look of concentration from behind his glasses that she suddenly felt quite exposed. Then he stretched out an arm towards her, offering her his hand. She glanced down at it, saw his fingers wiggle slightly. The movement of her hand was almost an automatic reaction to his, she slid her palm against his, feeling their fingers intertwining.

She looked back up at him, expecting to see him grinning. Instead his expression was serious, subdued. He tugged her hand gently, placing her body in the tiny amount of space between his own and the console. Then he reached around her and threw the handbrake. The TARDIS shuddered slightly as it dematerialised.

He looked down at her. 'Right,' he said quietly. 'Martha and Mickey first?' He was so close his breath ghosted over her face, making her shiver. She swallowed, trying to clear her suddenly dry throat. He raised his free hand and ran his index finger down the side of her face gently. 'Rose Tyler-' he began, then paused.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, Rose closed the remaining distance between them, sliding her own free hand up his side and into his hair, pulling his lips down to meet hers.


	6. Smith and Jones

As the rematerialisation jolted them they separated. Rose was breathing heavily and was gratified to notice the Doctor seemed to be slightly breathless, respiritory bypass system notwithstanding. She extricated her fingers from his hair and he gently removed his hand from her lower back, where it had worked its way under her shirt.

He sucked in a breath. 'Blimey.'

Outside, Martha and Mickey were staring at the blue police box that had materialised in their living room during dinner. They shared a look. When he'd appeared and saved them, they'd been certain he was saying goodbye, about to regenerate. Martha found she was mentally bracing herself as the door opened. What would the man who came out of that door be like? What would he  _ look _ like?

Pretty much the same as ever, she mused as a familiar messy-haired, wide-eyed, brown-coated man stepped into the room. He looked around.

'Living room, right. Sorry. Thought it would be better to arrive here, rather than the office.' He smiled and gave a little wave. 'Hello.'

'Hello,' Mickey said, since Martha was apparently dumbstruck.

'Mickey!' The Doctor said, grinning. 'And Martha Jones!' then he raised his eyebrows slightly, 'Smith?' He queried.

Martha still didn't speak. 'Nah,' Mickey said. 'Smith and Jones.'

'We thought-' Martha began, finally finding her voice. 'When we saw you we thought you were... Leaving.' She finished, evidently unsure how to end her sentence.

'Oh, I was,' the Doctor said, suddenly serious. 'I was dying. Well...' He said, drawing the word out, 'regenerating.'

'No offence, boss, but how are you standin' here right now? Lookin' like…' Mickey trailed off. 'Last time...'

The Doctor looked nonplussed for a second. 'Good question.' He reached behind himself and rapped on the TARDIS door sharply. 'Oi! You coming out?'

Martha and Mickey shared a quick glance, wondering when they'd catch up on events and whether the Doctor had gone mad. Madder.

The door opened and Rose stepped out, pulling on a jacket. 

'Rose!' Mickey and Martha said at the same time.

'Jack said you were...'

'Trapped in a parallel world, yeah?' She shot a glare up at the Doctor, who looked vaguely guilty. She smiled at Mickey and Martha. 'Not anymore.'

Martha stepped forwards and pulled the Doctor into a hug. 'I'm really glad you're...'

'Still me?' He supplied, hugging her back.

She nodded against his chest, then stepped back slightly. Turning, she put her arms around Rose. 'Thank you,' she said, 'I don't know what you did, but I'm sure you did something.’

Rose hugged her back, smiling.

'Mickey the idiot!' The doctor said spreading his arms and hugging Mickey.

Mickey slapped him on the back and stepped back, before he too turned to Rose and hugged her.

'So,' Martha said, 'are you going to tell us what happened?'

Rose opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the Doctor. 'Not much to tell, really. All sorted now. This is just a flying visit to say hi, let you know I'm all right-'

'Disturb our dinner,' Martha said, smiling.

'Sorry,' Rose said, nudging the Doctor, who echoed her, 'Sorry.'

'No problem,' Mickey said. 'Do you want to-'

'We have to go,' the Doctor said.

'Oh,' Martha and Mickey said together. Mickey noticed Rose was looking at the Doctor, traces of a glare in her gaze.

'What will you do now?'

'Oh, the usual. Got some repairs to do on the TARDIS, places to see, things to do-'

'People to visit,' Rose said quietly.

'Exactly! Lots to do.' The Doctor said, seemingly unaware of Rose's tone.

'We'll see you again though, yeah?' Mickey said.

'Course you will,' Rose said, 'Right, Doctor?'

'Course.'

'Well, then. I s'pose we'll see you.' Martha said. She stepped forward and hugged the Doctor again.

Mickey was watching Rose closely. She looked up and caught his eyes. He smiled, grateful when she returned it.

'Right, Rose Tyler, we're off.' The Doctor said, straightening from his hug with Martha. After shaking hands with Mickey, he turned and walked into the TARDIS.

Rose stood in the TARDIS doorway for a moment. 'Sorry about him,' she offered.

'We know what he's like,' Martha said. 'Is he really ok?'

Rose nodded.

'Are you?' Mickey asked.

'Course,' Rose said.

'You're with him,' Mickey finished, smiling. Rose beamed at him. 'What about your mum?'

Rose sobered. 'She's in the parallel world. With Pete and Tony. She's happy.'

Mickey nodded but said nothing.

They heard the Doctor's voice calling from the TARDIS, 'Rose! You can't stand there gossiping all day!'

Martha smiled ruefully. 'Doesn't change, does he?'

A shadow crossed Rose's face. 'Hope not.' The shadow passed as she smiled. 'You two take care of each other, yeah?'

They smiled and moved closer together, their arms wrapping around one another's waist. Rose gave them a dazzling smile then stepped into the TARDIS, closing the door behind her. Martha and Mickey watched as the TARDIS dematerialised.

'That was-' Martha said.

'Weird.' Mickey finished.

'Yeah,' Martha agreed. 'Brilliant, but-'

'Weird.'

*

Rose stood just inside the doors of the TARDIS, watching the Doctor moving around the console. He was slightly less animated than she remembered him being. His movements subdued. He looked up and caught her watching him.

'What?'

'We could have stayed a bit longer,' she said, moving closer to him, her legs automatically compensating for the motion of the TARDIS.

He watched her warily as she reached him and climbed into the jump seat. 'You're tired,' he observed.

''m all right,' she responded.

'Rose-' he said warningly.

'I'm fine, Doctor.'

He sat down next to her, hhyper-awareof her warmth along his side. 'Tell you what,' he said conversationally, keeping his eyes on the rotor, 'how about you get some sleep while I visit Sarah Jane and Luke?'

'How do I know you'll go?' She yawned.

'Rose,' he said gently. She looked up to find him watching her. 'Go and get some sleep. I promise you I'll go, set things straight with Sarah Jane and come straight back.'

'No dawdling,' she murmured.

'I don't dawdle!' he said, scandalised.

The TARDIS landed, pressing Rose back into the seat and knocking the Doctor to the floor. She laughed softly as he sprang back up.

'We're here!' he said brightly. He turned and pointed at her 'Bed!' She raised an eyebrow at him. To her delight – and surprise – he looked down and turned away, fiddling with the console. 'Right, well, yes. I'll be-' he moved around the console, grabbing his coat and pulling it on. 'Back in a jiffy. Hmm… jiffy.  _ Jif _ fy. Not sure about that one,' He met her gaze, seeing amusement sparkling with the exhaustion. 'Get some sleep,' he said, as sternly as he could. Then he turned and left the TARDIS, closing the door behind himself.


	7. Definitely Hiding

Rose awoke knowing she was alone in the TARDIS. She'd fallen onto her bed rather than into it and was now lying on top of the covers, fully clothed. She rolled onto her back, feeling her muscles ache slightly.

She was still tired, so from the feel of it she hadn't been asleep long. She checked the clock she kept on her bedside table. Three hours and he wasn't back. She should look for him. She should get up right now, go straight out there and start looking for him but something was stopping her. Something big.

He was… different. What she'd seen in his mind proved that. She'd known, of course, on some level, the Bad Wolf had seen everything. But seeing and knowing and feeling and knowing were very different things.

Feeling his… gleeful despair as he'd decided he could do whatever he wanted, there was no one to stop him, and very little worth stopping  _ for _ … feeling  _ that _ had terrified her. Worse than the idea that he would leave her behind again. That he wouldn't want her here. Couldn't accept her as she was now. It had always been there – that edge of insanity, of mania. Both incarnations had it in them. But this one? He felt it so much more. Lived so much closer to that edge. She remembered her thoughts earlier, before he'd awoken. He was more dangerous than her first Doctor. More filled with light, laughter and brilliance. But she knew there had been times, too many times, when he'd slipped. Let the darkness take over, pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

Nevertheless, she would always look for him. Always stay with him.  _ How long are you gonna stay with me? Forever. _ He hadn't said anything after that, just smiled and continued staring out over the view. Hadn't told her it was impossible, hadn't reminded her that she would die – too soon – and he'd be alone again.

He'd asked her to stay, she remembered. Almost begged.  _ He needs you. That's very me. _ He'd asked her to stay and he was terrified.

He was hiding from her, she knew. Idiot. She stood and stretched. She'd give him an hour, and then go looking. Truth be told, she wasn't sure what she'd find when she found him.

*

Things had gone well with Sarah Jane. She'd understood he didn't want to be questioned, had understood that some things needed to go unsaid. She'd asked to see Rose, though. Perceptive Sarah Jane. She knew consciously what the others, Martha, Mickey… the lot of them were only aware of on a subconscious level. He could say whatever he wanted, act however he wanted. All they had to do was watch Rose. Watch his behaviour, his body language around Rose. See Rose, see the Doctor.

And now? Now he was hiding. Worried about what  _ he'd _ see when he looked at Rose. Sitting in a nondescript café a few streets away from the TARDIS. The TARDIS with its infinite hiding places and he was hiding in a café, drinking tea that was below par at best. He shouldn't be here. Not hiding. Didn't make sense to hide here. Perhaps he wasn't hiding. Perhaps… yes. Perhaps he was meant to be here. Maybe something was about to happen. End of the world stuff.

He shot a surreptitious glance around the café. Nope. Nothing doing. Hiding, then. Should probably man up and get back to the TARDIS. Trouble was… every time he closed his eyes he saw the golden light that had illuminated the cliff top.

_ Her eyes were glowing. He heard himself speak, his voice somehow calm. 'Take your hands off her.' Warning them. Get away. **Run**. _

_ 'Get away from him,' Rose said, her words sounding as though they were coming from a long way away. _

_ 'Now we see the true creature. Threaten the mate and it appears.' The leader said, turning back to face Rose. 'State your species.' _

_ When Rose didn't speak, the Doctor answered. 'You couldn't even begin to understand. Please, if you want to get out of this alive, get away from her. Keep away from her.' _

_ The leader had looked at him, his gaze almost curious. 'Bring him closer,' he ordered. _

_ The Doctor was dragged to his feet and marched across to stand in front of Rose. Heat was pouring off her. Her eyes were locked on his and he couldn't look away. He could feel the heat of her in his head now. He wanted desperately to close his eyes, to look away. _

_ 'So much power,' the leader said, running his scanner up and down Rose's body. He scanned the Doctor. 'Traces of it on the Time Lord, but the female? So much power.' He looked at Rose. 'I am a scientist,' the Doctor snorted at that, unable to help himself, but the leader ignored him and continued. 'Show me.' _

_ 'Don't,' the Doctor warned. His eyes still held by hers. 'Don't ask.' _

_ Rose's gaze snapped to the leader, releasing the Doctor. He sagged, physically drained by the contact. 'Let him go,' she said. _

_ 'You are too good a pair to be ignored. You will return to the laboratory with us to be catalogued.' _

_ 'Don't be stupid,' the Doctor said impatiently, 'you said it yourself. There's so much power there. Too much. Just let her go. I'll come with you. Just let her go.' _

_ 'No!' Rose said, her voice a whisper that carried further than it had any right to. 'It hurts.' _

_ 'Take him,' the leader said. 'And bring her.' _

_ As the guards made to drag the Doctor away, Rose opened her mouth and screamed. _

_ Golden light so brilliant it was almost white filled the Doctor's senses. Then, just as suddenly, he was released. The sensation of her hand in his made him jump. Then she was pulling him along. And they were running. Running past the recumbent bodies of their former captors, towards the TARDIS doors… the TARDIS doors that swung open without being pushed. _

He shook his head to clear it. This was his fault. In oh so many ways. She was different. Altered in some way by the vortex within. The vortex she'd taken on to save him. And she'd shaken hands with the wolf to save him again. Over and over, pulling him back from the brink. She'd lost everything, including her ability to belong to a classifiable species, apparently. But all he'd been able to think about, while he'd been with Sarah Jane and Luke, was that he hoped she'd still be asleep when he returned to the TARDIS so he could lay down beside her and watch over her. And that that was a bad thought to have, hence the hiding and the tea.

He growled in frustration and stormed out of the café, drawing several perplexed glances from his fellow tea-drinkers. 


	8. Captain Envy

When he stepped through the TARDIS doors she was sitting in the control room, her hands wrapped around a mug of tea. Her eyes were closed.

'Hello,' he said, closing the door behind him.

''lo,' she responded, not opening her eyes.

He took his coat off and hung it over the beam beside him before walking up the ramp to the console. 'You ok?'

'How was Sarah Jane?' she asked, opening her eyes to look at him finally.

'Fine. She was fine. Better than fine, actually.' His hands flew over the console, setting the destination. 'Thought we might go and see Jack now.'

She smiled, apparently glad that she didn't need to remind him of their mission.

'Rose-' he began, then gave up. What could he say? I'm so glad you're here but I'm afraid, so very afraid, that you're going to destroy yourself and possibly me too? Not to mention two universes… Didn't seem right somehow.

'I sealed the gap,' she said, staring up at the rotor as it started to move.

'What?' he asked, shaken out of his reverie by her apparent non-sequitur.

'Wasn't really a gap, though. Not like I thought,' she looked down at him and caught his expression. 'Where I came through?'

'Oh! Right! Yeah, probably should have asked about that, really.' He tugged his earlobe.

She smiled, 'Well, you've been busy. Can't think of everything.'

He stared at her, aware he was doing it somehow not quite able to stop himself. He wanted to kiss her. Very much. He was about to move, every muscle tensed in anticipation, when she looked away, back up at the rotor, breaking the contact and ending the moment.

*

Jack Harkness was running for his life. What a difference a week made. 

This time seven days ago there had been drinking, and dancing, and Alonso. And the Doctor.

Huh. Best not to think about that really. Alonso, however… He knew he was grinning wolfishly. He stopped, catching his breath. There were no sounds of pursuit behind him. Had he outrun them? He pulled his coat tighter around himself as the rain dripped down the back of his neck. Damn planet with its shiny, shiny bars and wet, dark streets.

As he headed off, something caught his eye. There was a man, watching him from the end of the street. Through the downpour he couldn't make anything out about the man. Other than… yeah. He was wearing a long coat.

Not a crime. Lots of people wore long coats. And just because he was looking for someone didn't mean they were going to appear. Not wearing that coat anyway. As he watched, the man turned, his coat swirling out behind him, and headed down a side alley.

Jack followed, unable to stop himself. It was stupid, he knew. These sublevels could be dangerous. And however he might joke about it, following strange people into suspicious alleys wasn't really his thing.

He turned the corner and was rewarded with the heart achingly familiar sight of the TARDIS. The door was open. He stepped forward, uncharacteristically cautious. Freaked out at the thought of what he would find. Last time the Doctor had regenerated he'd been so different. A stark contrast from the Doctor he'd first known.

Realising he was afraid, Jack stood up straighter and walked purposely into the TARDIS. As soon as he was inside he was hit by something, pushing him back against the doors. 'Jack!'

Hearing his name shocked Jack into motion. He looked down. Rose. Rose was standing there with her arms wrapped tightly around him, beaming up at him. He grinned back down at her.

He looked up, over Rose's head, to the console. The Doctor was leaning against the console, soaked through. Jack stared at him, taking inventory. Brown hair slicked down by the rain,  _ check _ . Long coat dripping water onto the TARDIS floor,  _ check _ . Scuffed cream converses,  _ check _ . Jack felt Rose release him and in a few quick steps was across the console room, grabbing the Doctor and hugging him.

'Jack-' he heard the Doctor start to object, but he put an arm out behind him, felt Rose take his hand and pulled her into the embrace too.

After a moment, the Doctor pulled away and leaned against the console, grinning at Jack. 'Captain.'

'Doctor,' Jack said, returning the grin, 'you haven't changed a bit.' His expression sobered. 'Sorry – don't know where we are in your timeline.' 

'How did it go with Alonso?'

'Fine. Better than fine, actually. Great,' Jack said, smiling at the memory. He gave them both a stern look. 'Spill, 'cause last I heard, you-' he pointed at Rose, 'were in the parallel universe with the… other Doctor, and you-' he pointed at the Doctor, 'well… you looked rough.'

'More than rough, Jack. I was dying. About to regenerate. And how did you know Rose was supposed the parallel world? We went there after we dropped you off. Hmm?' The Doctor raised his eyebrows, regarding Jack seriously.

'I kinda overheard you talking. You and the… other you. Arguing.'

From her position beside Jack, Rose looked up at the Doctor, who turned away and began shrugging out of his coat and throwing it in the general direction of a support strut. It was soaking wet, however, and fell short. He made no move to pick it up.

'Anyways, I told you what I know, so  _ spill _ .'

'Go and get dried off first,' the Doctor said, 'You're dripping water all over my TARDIS.'

Jack looked down at Rose, who shrugged.

'Five minutes, then I want the story,' Jack said warningly.

The Doctor threw him a sloppy salute and turned back to the console, fiddling with some of the buttons.

Jack squeezed Rose's hand, 'Good to have you back.' Then he turned and left the room, heading further into the TARDIS.

The Doctor didn't look up from the console, his gaze steady on the readout. Rose picked up his wet coat and slung it over the strut he'd been aiming for. Then she turned to look at the Doctor. He was studiously avoiding looking up at her.

She moved closer, until she was standing right next to him. 'Doctor?'

'Hmm?'

'Doctor,' she said again.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, then turned to face her. 'What?'

Before she could think too much about it, Rose gave in to the insistence of her fingers and reached up, brushing damp hair off his forehead. As she was retracting her hand, his own snaked up and caught it. She blinked as her mind conjured images of kissing him earlier, in this very room. 

'Hey! Am I interrupting something?' Jack's voice called from the hallway.

The Doctor dropped her hand. 'No.'

'Right,' Jack said sarcastically. There was an uncomfortable moment, then he said, 'So… you were telling me what the hell is going on?'

'I'll leave that to you, shall I?' Rose said, 'I'm just gonna… I'm just gonna…' she turned and pushed past Jack, heading out of the console room as quickly as possible without looking like she was beating a retreat.

Jack's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he turned to the Doctor, who was staring after Rose.

'Doctor?'

The Time Lord's eyes snapped to Jack's. 'Yes, right. Explanations. I was regenerating…'

*

The explanation took fifteen minutes, during which Rose didn't return to the console room. Jack caught the Doctor's eyes wandering to the corridor a few times while he was talking –  _ Lucky he can do that on autopilot _ – but he made no move to go after her.

'That's quite somethin',' Jack said, once the Doctor finished filling him in. 'Is she gonna be okay?'

The Doctor sighed, 'I don't know, Jack. I really don't. She seems fine, just… different.'

'Yeah, I noticed you two weren't quite… the same.' The Doctor shot him a puzzled look. 'I mean, before you regenerated you were always close, holding hands. Even when we were on the Crucible…'

'About that,' the Doctor said, 'Tell me what you were doing eavesdropping on me.' His expression was stern, but Jack merely grinned at him.

'I was just passin', walking innocently through the corridors and I heard raised voices. You really don't know how to go easy on yourself, do ya?'

The Doctor smiled ruefully.

'You should go talk to her,' Jack said, suddenly serious.

'I… can't.'

'You can't talk? That'll be the day. Go find her,' he shoved the Doctor gently, 'and  _ tell her _ .'

'She knows,' the Doctor said, sounding exhausted.

'Does she? She's kissed you twice since she's been back-' he smirked at the Doctor's expression, 'I pay attention. Unlike you, it seems. Have you said  _ anything _ to her?'

'I… honestly, Jack, I can't.'

'Can't what?' Rose asked, entering the console room.

'Nothing,' the Doctor said, glaring at Jack.

Rose looked at Jack, 'You comin' with?'

He grinned, 'I've got nothin' else on my schedule for today.'

Rose fixed the Doctor with a look. 'One more stop.'

'I thought we were done? Martha, Mickey, Sarah Jane, Jack,' he said, counting them off on his fingers. 'Done.'

'Donna's granddad was with you when you… got hurt,' she said. 'He was the reason you got hurt. I think he'd wanna know you're okay,' she finished defiantly.

The Doctor, however, was staring at her. 'How do you know that?'

'I saw it,' she said quietly, looking away. 'Just now.'

'Rose-' he began, but she cut him off.

'Last one,' she said, looking up at him and smiling. He felt better, even though the smile didn't reach her eyes.

He smiled back and began to move around the console, his hands dancing lightly over the controls. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jack move to Rose's side and drape his arm over her shoulders, pulling her against his side. Tamping down on the irrational desire to shove Jack out the doors, he cleared his throat. 'Right, we should arrive just after Donna leaves for her honeymoon, can't risk her seeing us. Any of us.' He grinned, and threw them into the vortex. 'Allons-y!'


	9. Reception

After the crowd waved Donna and Shaun off on their honeymoon, Wilf remained outside for a few moments, watching the corner his granddaughter had disappeared around.

He sighed and made his way back inside, but rather than retake his seat and watch the party, he moved through the reception venue and out into the garden beyond, taking a seat at one of the benches there.

His daughter stuck her head around the door, 'Dad? You all right?'

He nodded. 'Just need a moment. I'll come in in a bit, darlin'.'

For a moment she looked as though she might object, but seemingly decided against it and headed inside to where the reception was still in full swing, letting the door close behind her. Wilf relaxed back into the bench, sighing.  _ What a day _ . Donna – married and off honeymooning in a holiday inn, the lottery ticket still unchecked, and probably still tucked into her dress. And the Doctor – dead because of him. Because he'd had to get into the booth to save that young man.

Even as he tried to make sense of it, his thoughts were interrupted by an achingly familiar sound. 

Behind him, almost hidden by a large bush, tall, blue and impossible, stood the Doctor's ship. The door creaked open and a brown-suited leg emerged, closely followed by its owner. 

Wilf released a shuddering breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. 'Doctor,' he said, not so much a word as a whisper.

The Doctor grinned brightly. 'Wilfred Mott.'

'But you… you're… I mean…  _ Look _ at you!'

The Doctor laughed, startling the tears from Wilf's eyes. The old man swiped at them, still smiling at his friend, who was picking his way through the overgrown garden towards him. 'Are you really here?'

'I'm really here,' the Doctor confirmed.

'How…?'

The Doctor sobered, deciding that Wilf deserved the explanation as much, if not more, than the others. 'Rose,' he said softly.

'The girl from the other dimension?'

'Yes,' the Doctor said. Then, 'Well… no actually. She's from this dimension but she got… lost.'

'She saved you?'

'Oh yes,' the Doctor said.

'And she's alright, is she?' Wilf asked.

The Doctor looked puzzled at the question for a moment, before realising it must look odd that he was here alone if Rose had saved him. 'Rose!' he called over his shoulder.

Wilf watched as the young woman he'd met when the Daleks attacked stepped out of the Doctor's ship, closely followed by a handsome young man. She walked through the garden until she stood at the Doctor's side.

'Hello again,' she said, smiling and giving a little wave.

Wilf stepped forwards, tears glistening in his eyes and pulled the girl into a hug, blinking against the tears. When he looked up at the Doctor over Rose's shoulder, he saw his friend was staring at the back of Rose's head, an expression of such tenderness in his eyes that Wilf felt he should look away.

When Rose stepped back to the Doctor's side, Wilf looked up at him. 'What you did –'

'It was my honour,' the Doctor repeated, his expression serious.

They regarded one another seriously for a moment, then Wilf said, 'Why don't you come in for a bit?'

'We can't,' the Doctor said, 'Donna-'

'Donna's gone off on her honeymoon… its just a party now. You three look like you could do with a bit of a rest.'

When the Doctor didn't speak the handsome young man stepped forward, offering his hand to Wilf. 'Captain Jack Harkness,' he said, shaking Wilf's hand. 'We'd be happy to.' He placed a hand at the small of Rose's back and propelled her towards the doors.

'Sorry about him,' the Doctor said, offering Wilf a half-smile.

'He's all right,' Wilf said dismissively. 'You coming in?'

The Doctor's eyes were on the door Rose and Jack had just stepped through. He drew a deep breath and looked at Wilf. 'Yeah,' the Doctor said, 'Keep those two out of trouble.'

'And you're really all right?'

The Doctor grinned, 'I'm always all right.'

*

An hour later Jack found the Doctor sitting at a table stacked high with abandoned plates and glasses, staring with unseeing eyes at the dancers in front of him.

Wilf was sitting on the opposite side of the table, ostensibly chatting to an elderly lady, seemingly respectful of the Doctor's desire to brood in silence.

_ Hell with that. _ Jack thought, sitting down heavily beside the Doctor and picking up a half-full glass from the table. 'No offence,' he said conversationally, 'but you look like hell.' He considered his friend's profile. 'Or somewhere real close to it.'

'Where's Rose?'

'Over... There,' Jack said, waving a hand to where Rose was dancing with one of the groom's friends.

The Doctor watched her a moment, then sighed. 'I am utterly damned, Jack.'

'You been drinkin'?'

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, then jumped up, grabbing Jack's wrist and heading for the back of the room, pulling him around a corner and nearly crashing into a table covered in some kind of sticky, syrupy drink.

'Hey!' Jack exclaimed 'I left my drink!'

'Shh!' The doctor said producing the drink from a pocket, draining the contents and handing him the empty glass.

'You'll never guess what?' Donna's voice easily carried to the back of the room as she strode over to her mother. Around her people continued to dance, as though the reappearance of the bride wasn't wholly unexpected. 'Its only a sodding winning ticket! We were on our way to the hotel and I thought I'd check the numbers, just for a laugh, and I'm rich! I'm goin' on a proper honeymoon! A proper honeymoon to-' she broke off, staring over her mother's shoulder.

Then she pushed past her mother, ignoring whatever Sylvia was saying to her. Jack and the Doctor followed her line of vision.

'Oh,' the Doctor said. 'That's-'

'Bad?' Jack said as Donna reached Rose, only a few meters from their hiding place.

'Very bad.'

Donna was staring at Rose, who was wearing a deer in the headlights look that in other circumstances might have been quite endearing.

'Bad Wolf,' Donna said, her voice a hoarse whisper. Then she seemed to snap out of her trance and stepped forward hugging Rose tightly. She stepped back slightly, her hands on the younger woman's shoulders. 'I know I won't remember this, but tell him thanks.' She smiled. 'I'm so glad you're here. Keep him safe. Make sure he knows when to stop.'

Rose nodded, choked with tears. Then Donna stepped back slightly, blinked, and suddenly failed to see Rose. She turned and ran back to her mother, giggling excitedly about the ticket.

'Utterly, utterly, irredeemably damned,' the doctor muttered as Rose shook herself and looked around the room.

'You  _ have _ been drinking,'

''m not drunk. Rose shouldn't have been able to do that – make Donna forget she was there. She shouldn't have been able to get into my head, either. She saw everything, Jack. It's all there. in her head. One day soon she'll look at me, see that, and she'll be gone.'

‘You think she's that slow? If she was gonna leave-‘

'Worst part is I don't know if it was worth the cost. Any of it.'

Jack looked at his friend sternly. 'You wouldn't take back a single thing you've done. Not one thing. Everything you did, you did for a reason.'

'That's just what you tell yourself to explain the stuff I've done.'

'Seriously,' Jack said dryly, 'lay off the booze.'

The Doctor seemed to finally catch on to what he'd been saying and gave him a sarcastic look. 'I don't have to be drunk unless I want to be. Can drink as much as I like without any effect unless I want it to have one.'

Jack raised an eyebrow, 'Your point?'

The Doctor glared down at the table next to them to where Jack had absently traced a pattern in the nasty spilt drink. He froze. 'Why did you draw that?'

Jack looked down, seemingly only just noticing what he'd drawn. 'That? It's just a pattern I saw.'

The Doctor turned to face him, his dark gaze intense, almost panicked. 'Where? Jack, where did you see that?'

'What's the big deal? It's a tattoo on the back of Rose's neck. Right here,' he said running a finger through the base of his hairline.

'The big deal, captain, is- hang on... What were you doing looking at the back of Rose's neck?' The Doctor demanded, narrowing his eyes.

Jack would have laughed if the Doctor didn't look so worried. 'She tied her hair up.'

There was the impression of ruffled feathers being smoothed. Slightly. 'Yeah, well... Don't.'

'Sobered you up. What does it mean?'

The Doctor was suddenly avoiding his gaze, looking down at the symbol. 'Its... It's... Well. Depending on how you look at it, it's either Bad Wolf or-' he spun the table, sending liquid off the edges and splashing Jack. 'It's my name. That. Right there. My name.' He smiled at it, as though pleased to see it.

'What, like: Doctor?'

He shook his head, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. 'Nope. My  _ name _ , Jack.'

Jack was momentarily nonplussed. 'Oh.'

'Oh indeed.'

'No chance she picked it off the wall in the tattoo place then?'

The Doctor snorted amusement at that. 'Doubtful.'

After a moment that saw them both staring down at the symbol in silence, Jack said, 'Bad wolf, huh? You'd think you'd have noticed that before.'

'I've been busy! And its not like I see it written down a lot. At all. Ever. Not for… longer than I care to remember.'

Jack raised an eyebrow, looking up at the Doctor's face. 'So what exactly is-'

'Not a chance,' the Doctor snapped, looking over his shoulder as Rose passed by.

Jack grinned. 'She's looking for you. Go talk to her.'

'It's wrong Jack. She's human. Mostly human. Very human.'

'And…'

' _ And _ I'm not. I'm a 900 year old Time Lord.' The Doctor said, as though it should be obvious.

'You ever notice how you get younger each time you give your age?' Jack grinned at the glare his friend sent him. 'What? You think you've got the market cornered in terms of having some serious mileage, yet still being insanely young looking and handsome?' The Doctor rolled his eyes. 'How old do you think I am?' Jack asked.

The Doctor looked up, studying Jack for a moment. 'I dunno… Three, Four hundred?'

'I'm older than you.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah. Oh.'

'I'm-'

'Don't you dare apologise,' Jack snapped. 'Most of it's been great. And I still love you both. I'm not gonna watch her walk away 'cos you're too hung up on yourself to do what the rest of the universe does every damn day.'

'And when she dies?' The Doctor said, his voice a whisper.

'Every damn day, Doctor.' Jack said, his tone softer this time. They both watched as an increasingly annoyed Rose stood on a chair to look for them among the partygoers. 'Way I see it,' Jack said, watching the Doctor closely, 'there's worse ways to be damned. I'm gonna go mingle. See you later.'

The Doctor watched him go, and then returned to watching Rose look for him, hidden in the shadows.

'He's right, you know,' Wilf said from behind him.

The Doctor didn't turn, kept his eyes on Rose.

'My wife died. Years ago now. Doesn't matter how long ago. One day or a thousand years. It'll always hurt just the same and it'll always have been worth it.' The Doctor turned to look at him, surprised. 'That girl,' Wilf said, nodding in the direction of the dance floor. 'That girl loves you Doctor. Every bit as much as you deserve. And more to the point you love her. You've never struck me as a coward. Even when you're terrified you do the right thing. You saved me. Saved Donna. You even tried to save that … Master bloke, didn't you?'

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

'So this is where you've been hiding all night. You can come out now, you know, Donna's gone.'

He turned. Rose stood there, her hands on her hips and an annoyed expression on her face.

'I was just-'

'Have you seen Jack?' she interrupted. 'He promised he'd dance with me.'

The Doctor could feel Wilfred Mott's eyes boring into the back of his head. 'Nope,' he said.

She looked at him, narrowing her eyes suspiciously then said, 'Well if you see him, tell him I'm looking for him.' She turned to walk away and the Doctor called out to her.

'Rose Tyler!'

She stopped and turned back to face him, her expression softer. 'Yes, Doctor?'

He was by her side in two long strides, grabbing her hand. 'Run!'


End file.
